hope is lost...i am lost

1. i can repair a broken quilt---loved till it was full of holes, but i can not repair my broken life.
2. pretty fabric is only a momentary distraction---sewing allows for lots of chatter, my mind is not quiet.
3. surrender is what i must do, but i can not.
4. i resist.
5. the truth of this, makes a lie of all that came before.
6. i am an empty shell, lost and tumbled in the tide....no home to be secure.
7. there is no path--where i am going, there are tangled vines and weeds, toxic things that make me raw.
8. the story fell away, unraveled, leaving bits of fuzz that you find insignificant and brush away.
9. useless, but talented
10. it is necessary to pretend to be strong and not say it would be best to lay down and die...because existing is not enough and i no longer "believe" i can survive.